Exploring “I Wanted the Divorce, Why Am I So Sad?”
Divorce is an emotive and life-changing event that happens to many people. While some divorces are amicable, others can be characterised by deep-seated animosity and resentment. Regardless, a breakup is never easy, and it is natural to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, despair, and loneliness. In some cases, people who file divorce petitions initiate the separation, and the process tears them apart emotionally. If you are the one who initiated the divorce, you may be wondering why you feel so sad and despondent. This article explores the hidden emotions that come up after one files for divorce and why getting a divorce is hard even when you wanted it.
Exploring the Hidden Emotions After Filing for Divorce: Why Am I So Sad?
Divorce brings out a range of emotions that can significantly impact your mental well-being. At first, you may feel relief at finally making a decision that has been on your mind for months. However, it is not uncommon for people to feel sad after amicably ending a relationship.
Some reasons you may be feeling sad could be because you are grieving the loss of a relationship. There is a sense of mourning that someone goes through, understanding that the person who was once so important will no longer be around when you wake up in the morning. Additionally, the end of a marriage impacts you on a biological level as well, resulting in physical symptoms such as poor sleep, digestive issues, and mood changes. Finally, social stigma is attached to divorce, and you may feel like failure or like you have let your family and loved ones down.
Coping with the Emotional Aftermath of Divorce: Understanding the Grief Process
Grief is a natural response to having suffered a significant loss. When it comes to divorce, the feelings of loss can be as profound as those that follow the death of a loved one. Understanding the grief process helps you navigate through the stages to get to a place of healing. These stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
During the denial stage, you may be in disbelief that the relationship has ended. Anger is normal too, and you may feel like lashing out at your ex-spouse or even yourself. Bargaining may occur when you try to reconcile with your ex-partner, even though you know that it is impossible. Depression is a natural response if you find yourself trying to handle the tough emotions through isolation, disrupted sleep, and withdrawal from activities that you usually enjoy. Acceptance is the final stage of grief; it’s what you get to after you have processed the reality of the situation.
Managing the grief process is essential, and coping mechanisms that can help you through the stages include exercising, talking to a professional, meditating or praying, speaking to your support system, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.
Moving on After Divorce: Acceptance, Grief, and Resilience
Acceptance allows you to close one chapter of your life and begin another. Even if the decision to divorce was yours, the process of letting go is still hard. However, resilience can be your guiding force as you learn to move on after divorce. Resilience does not mean that you don’t experience pain, but instead, it means that you have the capacity to adapt and deal with the uncertainty of life.
Some strategies for building resilience include developing a new routine, practicing gratitude, using positive self-talk and mindfulness, cultivating supportive relationships, or taking steps to support emotional well-being through counselling if you feel it can be useful.
Why Divorce is Hard Even When You Wanted It
Even if someone wants a divorce, it does not mean the whole process is easy. The emotional and financial impact can take a toll on multiple aspects of life. From routine changes to career changes, social stigma, and conflicts over custody and visitation, navigating the complex terrain of divorce is never easy.
Additionally, divorce impacts how individuals perceive and view themselves. It can lead to a feeling of a lack of self-worth, which can trigger feelings of loneliness and depression. Divorce can also result in the loss of an important role. For instance, being a spouse and parent.
Finding Your New Normal: Navigating the Emotional Fallout of Divorce
Building a new normal after a divorce requires effort and intentionality. It is important to acknowledge the emotions that come with the divorce and allow yourself time to heal. You can then build a new daily routine that incorporates your new reality; for example, attend social events, travel, or visit new locations. Meet new people and create new memories with them to help create a new normal.
In rebuilding your new structure, create a support structure, which can be made up of family, friends, or a therapist who can listen to you without judgment. Pursue activities that you enjoy as they can help you deal with the sense of loss.
Emotional Challenges to Overcome After a Divorce You Initiated
Going through a divorce that you initiated can still be trying emotionally. One significant emotional challenge that you may face is guilt. Guilt may stem from feeling like you let your partner down or feeling responsible for the breakup of your marriage. You may also find yourself second-guessing the decision to end your relationship and feeling like you made a mistake. Feelings of loneliness and isolation may also be present after divorce, even if you were the one who initiated the separation.
The Emotional Cost of Divorce: How to Deal with Sadness and Loss
The toll of divorce often extends beyond the legal and financial processes, leading to a significant mental and emotional drain. One way to cope with these emotions is to seek help. Talking to a professional therapist can help you work through the grief and loneliness that may accompany divorce. Self-care activities, such as reading a book, participating in exercise, engaging in a craft or hobby, or eating healthily, can enhance mental and emotional well-being.
Conclusion
Divorce can be emotionally draining and challenging, and even if you initiated it, you may face challenges that you were not expecting. It is important to allow yourself time to grieve and process the emotions you are feeling. Additionally, building a support group and looking after yourself, both physically and mentally, can help you develop resilience and cope with the grief and sadness that comes with separation. If you’re struggling with emotions after a divorce, don’t hesitate to seek professional help from a therapist or other medical professional.